How To Forgive Someone
Options for How to Forgive Someone
Because this is such an important healing process and very empowering, we wanted to provide information on how to forgive someone. Throughout life, people are going to hurt each other and while it would be nice for no one to ever experience a broken heart or hurt feelings this is simply a part of life. However, when anger and hurt are harbored, it actually does damage to the individual on the receiving end, not the person that caused the pain.
Learning how to forgive someone actually provides you with a new lease on life, a way of putting the past to rest and starting over fresh. It takes a big person to forgive but the benefits are tremendous. Keep in mind that even when you forgive someone for hurting you, it does not mean you forget the action that caused the pain. However, with forgiveness, the memory of the action soon begins to fade, becoming less and less significant.
The best method on how to forgive someone is to sit down with that individual face-to-face. Depending on the reason you were hurt and the other individual, a face-to-face meeting might be the hardest thing you ever do. However, this puts you in a position of control. When sitting down with the person, go prepared with what you want to say. Do not be attacking but be direct.
If the person had stolen from you, be honest and upfront, saying something like “When you stole that money from me, it hurt me. It caused me to distrust and question your motives in my life.” Then, follow your statement up with “Although you did not ask for forgiveness, I am choosing to forgive you for your actions.” At that point, you have the choice of continuing the friendship or advising that person that while you have forgiven, you have also made the decision to move on in life without the friendship.
If you cannot meet with someone in person, then the option on how to forgive someone would be through a phone call or letter. Again, you need to mention the act done against you, how it made you feel, the way it affected your life, and the response you are now providing. When thinking of how to forgive someone, you need to remember that this involves a process. Therefore, the best thing you can do is become prepared.
No matter the choice you make on how to forgive someone, it is important that the feelings of being hurt or feeling angry be acknowledged. Denying or ignoring those feelings does not make it possible to forgive and only leaves deep scars. Next, you do not want to attack the person or put the individual on the defense. When that happens, that person is not hearing the words you have to say.
Therefore, on any method for how to forgive someone, you want to be very constructive in the way the person is approached. Again, if you were hurt extremely bad, this is going to be tough but in the end, the process of forgiveness empowers you. If you feel you can talk to the person on your own great, but some people find the most effective method for how to forgive someone is by bringing a neutral third-party into the mix. That way, someone would be there who could mediate if necessary.
Finally, you need to listen to what the person has to say. This does not mean you have to believe but sometimes, information comes out that helps you rationalize why the action took place. Of course, if the individual that hurt you caused physical harm, then the right way for how to forgive someone is not in person but through a letter. That way you can express your feelings but without putting yourself in a position of being harmed again.
Remember, if extreme physical harm was done and you still have fear, then forgiveness might involve you forgiving in your heart by finding peace inside and not addressing the person at all.